Stuck at a Wall

Abby Ripoli

            As I walk down the streets of a now familiar scene, I confidently pass aggressive street vendors, no longer struck by the differences in the lives from which we come. I have hit a point at which there are always new things to explore, but they are no longer in the normal events of my everyday life, as I’ve become familiar with my routine here in Vietnam, and things that were once so foreign, are now part of my daily interactions. However with my comfort level growing and my curiosity yearning, I’ve found that there is a barrier between myself and the people I am so eager to learn from, hindering me more now than ever: a language barrier. I crave stories from the smiling fruit lady in the local market. I want to understand the life of the solemn faced police officer directing traffic. But most of all, I want to know more about these strangers with which I live. What is his view on communism? Has she always been able to cook this good? What on Earth is this little girl trying to say to me...?
            I’m discovering that I don’t want my definition of “living” in Vietnam to consist of being able to cross a street, speaking fairly competent Vietnamese, or being capable enough to use chopsticks without embarrassing myself and practically being forced to use my own “brand” of silverware; I want my definition of “living” in Vietnam to be understanding why these things are the way they are and why I’m different or maybe not so different at all. I’m starting to realize how powerful words can really be, and once I can understand these words being thrown at me, maybe I’ll be able to understand this culture as well.
            To answer the question of where I am now, I would say that I’m past the guidance of a “Vietnam Travel Book”, past the excuses of awkwardness and confusion, yet nowhere near the point of adequate understanding. At this point it is unclear what stage of my journey I’m in, or where it will end up taking me, but I know that right now, even in Ha Noi, Viet Nam, I am home. In every home, there are moments of joy and moments of frustration. My frustrations are clear; with five months ahead of me, I know that in order to leave Vietnam feeling satisfied, I need to reach a deeper level of understanding, by conquering as much of this language barrier as possible.